The cancelLed guys.(NEW NAME) Chris and Costello: SEASON 1
Chris and Costello: things we couldn't do or say on the radio...Chris and Costello worked in big market radio together in another life, now they bring you a rather skewed version of what's happening...interviews, Attitudes, and reviews all in an interesting and captivating way, somewhat irreverent. That's what you should expect from an American radio Icon (Chris Bailey) and a man who only has one name...and turned his back on Queen and country, Costello ( He's from England).
The cancelLed guys.(NEW NAME) Chris and Costello: SEASON 1
Kamala's Campaign Comedy and Celebrity Surprises: Election Antics, Vegas Vibes, and Missing Football Fun
Vice President Kamala Harris joins us for a lively episode filled with humor and intriguing conversation. We kick things off with some playful banter about South Carolina's weather and traffic, and we don't shy away from poking fun at how media interviews have softened over the years. Our delightful chat touches on her recent appearances on popular shows, and we even manage to get into the playful details of her name pronunciation, setting the stage for a session of insightful and candid dialogue.
Our discussion takes a satirical spin as we explore the world of political campaigns, highlighting a fictional scenario where Vice President Harris sways undecided voters with a surprise endorsement from pop sensation Lizzo. We navigate through political rivalries, public perception, and the influence of celebrities in politics, all with a light-hearted perspective. Expect some cheeky critiques on campaign strategies and the peculiar dance of winning over the ever-elusive undecided voter.
As we wrap up, the conversation spirals into a mix of whimsical topics, from hypothetical post-election parties to the peculiarities of Vegas weather and Formula 1's impact on the city. Our humor-laden chat touches on personal anecdotes, amusing scenarios, and even includes a nod to missing a football game for podcast duties. With Vice President Harris as our guest, get ready for an episode packed with laughter, unique insights, and a refreshingly fun take on politics and culture.
Subscribe to 'The Original Canceled Radio Guys' . Go to https://www.ChrisandCostello.com
Email ChrisandCostello@Yahoo.com
I actually work this time.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Amazing, it's amazing, it's amazing.
Speaker 2:Get rid of that. All right, okay, we're recording, so let's go then. Bailey, as you know, you always start things off.
Speaker 1:We're recording usually means we're not, but okay.
Speaker 2:Shut up, oh my.
Speaker 3:God, Don't do that. You do that and you're a dead man.
Speaker 1:We'll both come to South Carolina and go get him Hell to the yeah. String that Brit up. We are recording. We're doing stem cells. Already today I had a Brit who came by. He's from London. He's in really sex there right now.
Speaker 2:I don't know what's going on over there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he does Not good. Anyway, I'm sorry, we're ready. Are we getting ready? All right?
Speaker 2:We've been ready. Hi, this is Chris. Hey, this is Costello.
Speaker 1:How you doing Costello. What's happening with you boy, what? What's happening with you boy, oh boy, gee, what's happening? I'm in South.
Speaker 2:Carolina. Do you need to ask? I was just trying to talk to you in that South Carolina lingo. What's happening with you, boy Gee? What's happening? I'm in South Carolina. Do you need to ask?
Speaker 1:I was just trying to talk you into that South Carolina lingo. What's happening to you, boy?
Speaker 2:Oh, it's been beautiful actually. We've got 72 degrees and sunny outside right now.
Speaker 1:Don't try to come up with an excuse to make it sound like it's good to live there. It's not going to work yeah okay, you just like the weather and you want to go and do a traffic report while you're at it? Just go ahead.
Speaker 2:Oh well, you know heavy traffic around the stadium. In a bit come the fourth quarter.
Speaker 1:Oh, is South Carolina playing a home game today?
Speaker 2:Oklahoma City. I mean no, Oklahoma, yeah, Oklahoma, yeah, Oklahoma yeah, just Oklahoma isn't it.
Speaker 1:That's a Mr Sports guy. Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:It's pretty cool to show today because, as you know, that Vice President Harris has been doing the rounds. You know media rounds, but a little different type of media rounds. She did the who's your Daddy podcast. She did VIEW, stephen Colbert Stern, oh, and Christine Costello.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, yeah, and who's that? Da God or something? I'll have to ask her about that. Who, what? There's a guy who does podcasts similar to us but not as good, called Something Da God. Black guy. Something Da Da. No, you didn't see it Okay. Oh, charlemagne Da God. Something Da Da. No, you didn't see it Okay.
Speaker 1:Oh, charlemagne Da God, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey, I saw the peanut gallery in the back. Okay, thank you, charlemagne Da God Great.
Speaker 2:The audience is loving it.
Speaker 1:I hired her to fill in the gaps. When you have a brain fart, you know okay.
Speaker 2:Oh, there's another one.
Speaker 1:You can't think of the next thing to say, christine will fill in the blank for you. Okay, thank you. Thank you, christine, anyway. So vice president Harris is with us today, so, and so we're going to do a lot of things. When she was on, who's your daddy thing?
Speaker 1:They worked out and didn't do the show like they normally do. And they just worked out and didn't do the show like they normally do and they just wussed out and just kind of, you know, let her do the softball questions and didn't even do the show like you normally do. Same thing with Stern and stuff. I mean he's become like Mr Grandpa interviewer all the stuff that made him famous he doesn't do anymore. So I just thought we'll just go for it and we'll ask the questions that they should have asked on those podcasts.
Speaker 1:Okay, I won't go into it, okay, but first go ahead and introduce yourself. Come on, it's a big deal, man. Come on yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, believe it or not, we have Kamala yeah.
Speaker 3:My name is Kamala.
Speaker 2:That's what I said you said Kamala, you said it like Trump, I'm. British damn it Good to be here.
Speaker 3:It's very good to be here, but it's Kamala Harris vice president to you.
Speaker 2:Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Thank you, Ms Veep.
Speaker 2:Okay, why does this always happen? Why do I always get told off?
Speaker 3:Very happy to be here, gentlemen, what can? I do for you now.
Speaker 1:I know you were in Detroit last night and you're bringing a lot of celebrities on with you, so this is kind of interesting. Last night with you in Detroit, I was kind of interested, curious, why you chose Lizzo to appear with you in Detroit last night.
Speaker 2:You had.
Speaker 1:Lizzo with you in Detroit. Is that a positive endorsement?
Speaker 3:That's an excellent endorsement. Have you seen the way she dresses? I'm telling you, you know, I have to bring the show.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? The way she dresses? Do you have to buy her a bucket of chicken to show up? What do you?
Speaker 3:do she's going to vote for me because I'm the right choice. Who wants that? That weird cheeto that is dancing or not dancing, I don't know looked kind of like a seizure for 40 minutes and not answering any questions. Lizzo, she's hip, let's go, but lizzo, I'm gonna win I'm gonna win, I'm gonna win.
Speaker 2:You're gonna win you better, man. I mean, it's been a studio we got two weeks ago. It's gonna be a long two. I'm going to win, I'm going to win.
Speaker 1:You're going to win. You better win. It's been two weeks ago. It's going to be a long two weeks man, and if you lose it's going to be the most stressful four years coming up. So, whatever you got to do, cheat.
Speaker 3:I'm going to win because you know he's going to bring. He has to kill the enemy within. You know he's deranged. People have to know this and they'll vote for me because he's deranged and I'm going to win.
Speaker 1:Well, it's because who's the enemy within? The people who don't like him. Is that the enemy within? Is that what it is?
Speaker 3:This is what he says, and you know January 6th was a bunch of people that came with love.
Speaker 1:With love With love.
Speaker 3:So yeah, and he's going to use the military.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh, so we should be good. So, but, lizzo, come on, I can't get over it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. What's wrong with Lizzo? We need to bring all people to the table. My campaign is for everybody. Everybody's in. Lizzo's pretty funny. She makes me laugh.
Speaker 1:You're trying to come back Toby. You didn't know last night's event was a buffet. You probably didn't know that. I didn't know that. Well you, a buffet. You probably didn't know that, I didn't know that.
Speaker 3:Well, you know you got to get them there somehow.
Speaker 1:Every time I see Lizzo here in Vegas, it's at the buffet line.
Speaker 3:Well you got to pay the bills. Pay the bills.
Speaker 1:Most of us recognize her from the backside. I got big ass on that, lizzo. Okay, lizzo, how are you?
Speaker 3:doing. She was lovely and I was happy to have her join us. She is joining the campaign. That is for everyone, so we are happy to have her, okay.
Speaker 2:All right. So the new strapline is going to be morbidly obese. Vote for.
Speaker 1:Kamala, don't you body shame the new president? We can't.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:President Harris, you look fine, I look pretty good, you do.
Speaker 2:Vice President Harris, I'm going to ask you.
Speaker 1:You were on these podcasts. I'm going to ask you questions. They always ask guests on these podcasts, but they didn't ask you. So are you game? You ready to go with this right?
Speaker 3:Shoot, let's go.
Speaker 1:Sure, come on, just let people know we're going after those undecided voters which, by the way, if you're undecided at this point, you must be a friggin' dumbass or something, because here she is, here he is. They've been around their faces for a few months. You don't know them yet. You still haven't decided yet. How the frick stupid are you? I mean right.
Speaker 3:I have to agree because there is no choice. The only choice is this choice. The other one is not. Why do you want to? Why 34 convictions?
Speaker 2:Enough? Yeah, that would do, it, wouldn't it?
Speaker 1:30 more is good I mean there can be no more undecided. I don't want to hear that anymore. Undecided, that decide I would like to think.
Speaker 3:Yes, I would like to think. And you know, the other day I had a whole raft of people on the stage with me that were all recovering Republicans. So I think we're starting to move. We're starting to move, we're going to win.
Speaker 1:So Costello's bubbles are starting to move.
Speaker 2:I have a question. Okay, how is Lizzo going to get into a polling booth?
Speaker 3:Lizzo doesn't have to. She'll elbow her way in. You know you can do drive-thrus now. You can do mail-bys, you can do a mail-in bout. There's plenty of ways we can all vote. Let's get out there and do that, please she'll do an early mail-in for sure.
Speaker 2:I just thought it'd be kind of funny to see us stuck in Portland leave Lizzo alone.
Speaker 1:Lizzo's my friend, leave her be I have to give lizzo, we have to be kind of nice tonight because she is for vice president harris, okay, so that's right.
Speaker 3:She's on my side, our side. We've got to go with her okay, madam deep.
Speaker 1:So you're on the who's your daddy podcast. This is a question that with no, I guess regular guests are on that show. They always ask this, so they skip you on it. So we're going to go back and ask you to do you ready.
Speaker 3:Yeah sure.
Speaker 1:Question number one what is your favorite sexual position?
Speaker 3:Okay, oh, my goodness, you know, Doug the first gentleman doesn't really like positions we're pretty traditional.
Speaker 1:Okay, which means what?
Speaker 3:Well, you know.
Speaker 1:I occasionally like the doggy thing, the doggy thing, oh, the doggy thing, the doggy thing.
Speaker 3:You know, my people are from India and there's the whole Kama Sutra Ever look at it. That's interesting. But the first gentleman is a little more traditional.
Speaker 1:I guess, okay, he may fall in line with this question. Okay, next question is spit or swallow. Oh, spit, I thought so because your husband's Jewish Definitely spitting Blah, blah, no swallowing in that household, oh, nah, nope, nope. Nope, nope, let's go to the stern type questions. Okay, he was down to ask you.
Speaker 3:okay, he was very nice, wasn't he? I guess have you ever.
Speaker 1:okay, he was very nice, wasn't he? I guess, have you ever played lesbian butt bongo?
Speaker 3:I you know, the other night I did do a little butt slapping with Lizzo on the dance floor, but that's about as far as I'm going to go.
Speaker 1:That's a lot to slap there, man. That's a lot to slap. Well, that's a big bongo, that's more than bongo. Yeah, that's the whole drum set right there I had the whole set. Yes, we did a little babaloo on there lesbian trend because it used to be what you always would ask about it. Have you ever been with another woman? Have you Sexually that is.
Speaker 3:Well, there was one night in college that I don't know what happened. I'm going to go with an? I don't think so, but I don't know. Ever, seen Castillo naked. Oh no, that goes with the spit or swallow thing.
Speaker 2:No, oh, thank you. I would like you to know I have actually lost 30 pounds now. Oh, that's nice.
Speaker 1:Good for you, that's good, but not in the face.
Speaker 2:I was told my face had got. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I'm just giving you shit, Castello.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 3:Let's get back to me, back to me, back to me.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry. Back to the vice president, Back to the vice president, thank you.
Speaker 3:I've got things to do, places to go, people to convince.
Speaker 1:We're two weeks from election day Last shot. Why vote for you? Go for it, give it to him. Come on, give him your best shot. Go ahead.
Speaker 3:You should vote for me because, at the end of the day, I am not crazy. I am going to do what's right. I will not. I am going to set my news past. We are moving forward. We are not going back. Nobody needs a criminal in the White House. I'm your pick because I will work for everybody.
Speaker 1:I am for the people you covered every campaign button, every bumper sticker and every slogan all in one thing.
Speaker 3:That's great it's a gift, it's a gift but you know we're with you.
Speaker 1:We want you to win where you must win. You understand that right? Yeah, you gotta got it.
Speaker 3:I am doing my best, you know I do. The other thing I'll say is, while my opponent would not release his health condition, I myself have been deemed very physically and mentally active and healthy. But did you see the other night in his campaign thing, I think, the Detroit one he was nodding off in the middle of his own rally?
Speaker 1:His microphone went dead and Detroit one. He was nodding off in the middle of his own rally. You see, his microphone went dead and for 20 minutes he was pacing. He said I'm taking a nap and the other we get a town hall. He said I don't want any more questions, let's play music instead. He did 40 minutes.
Speaker 3:I know, I think you know if I was a program. I'd be hotlining you. Okay, did Ave Maria into YMCA? Okay, and how many times did he play the Ave Maria? I mean, quite frankly, he should be praying, but that was a little weird. He's weird.
Speaker 1:Let's go back to the weird thing. That was a hot thing. That was a good thing. People really ticked him off. I think you should stick with him being weird, but he did say this week that he should be, he shouldn't be. Instead of being in these campaign spots, he could be out on the beach laying there with his beautiful body. I went, excuse me. He said beautiful body, I'm just going to.
Speaker 3:Oh, this is. Oh, there is no. No one is prepared for that, no, which is why his lovely and charming wife is out on her book tour. She's pimping her book while her husband is making a complete idiot of himself no one cares about her book.
Speaker 1:I mean, yeah, there's nothing there. There's not as yucky. That new, that new blow-up naked trump thing is showing up in certain cities. Have you seen that?
Speaker 3:exactly. So, exactly what do they have going for them? I mean mean, they're and the and him with the. Oh, I can't, I can't between the Bible, the tennis shoes, her book, the whole thing. They're just, they are prostituted. The United States.
Speaker 1:What was it? Melania's book or her naked pictures? Her naked pictures, okay.
Speaker 3:Well, quite frankly, the naked pictures are the only draw. Yeah, that's it so, but she's I mean she's clearly not supporting. If she, if your own spouse, cannot support your campaign, then why should you vote for him?
Speaker 1:She's supporting the next assassin. Not to miss.
Speaker 3:Yeah, really. And what was that? One One of his own followers were all loaded up, right what I said one of his own followers last week, I think Wasn't it in Arizona that they nailed another person that was loaded up A sovereign citizen or something that's one of his own people?
Speaker 1:Outside of Coachella in California there was a guy trying to get in there.
Speaker 3:That's his own people.
Speaker 1:There was a member of the press. They opened his van up and they found loads of ammo AK-47. I'll get to the press of what National Rifle Association or what.
Speaker 3:But he admitted he goes. No, he claimed himself to be a sovereign citizen, one of the followers, and they were going after him. This time his own people. Ooh, you know.
Speaker 2:I have a theory.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, there it comes. Well, you know this because, all right, go ahead. It comes with theory, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been right. In the last few Did I not say they picked Kamala?
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, they did. Here's the thing right there, the press, my name is Kamala.
Speaker 1:Come on, costello, get it right, kamala.
Speaker 3:The other one always mispronounces it on purpose. Are you doing that to me, Costello?
Speaker 2:It's just the way I speak. But listen, think about this for a minute, right? We keep hearing that everything's tied neck and neck and these polls are coming out neck and neck. Oh my God, there's only half a point in it. Oh shit, I think everybody should panic, everybody should go out and vote, and the actual reality is you're way the hell ahead. That's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 3:I think they just said Well, let's hope, as the first gentleman would say, from your lips to God's ears.
Speaker 1:Or they could have some more schmear.
Speaker 3:And have a schmear with it. The first gentleman? Let's hope so, but we are going to sprint to the finish line and everyone must vote.
Speaker 1:I'm looking forward to the new lingo here. Ladies and gentlemen, First man, Doug.
Speaker 3:Oh, he can't wait. He can't wait, he's already planning the first party.
Speaker 1:I'm telling this one you're right. I agree. I think that you're way ahead. I think they say the polls are neck and neck. It's kind of good to do it for a reason it's going to make people get out and vote. It's too close. Absolutely, that's absolutely.
Speaker 3:Yes, I said from the beginning that we were coming into this as an underdog. I maintain that we must have everyone out voting and supporting this ticket, the Harris Walls ticket, because it's the one that cares about people. We will fight for you. We are inclusive and everybody will, like women will have their own health rights given back to them now your bp big walls.
Speaker 1:You see, you kind of reminds me of my crazy uncle at thanksgiving well, he is a crazy little so-and-so, but darn it, people like him.
Speaker 2:He's very likable. He seems to be.
Speaker 3:He is. He's a good coach, he motivates. He'll be a great vice president for us here in the United States when we take the White House back.
Speaker 2:I was watching that other guy running for vice president. He's not running for vice president, he's running to be the president.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, because, hey look, he's making bank on the fact that the original one is going to crap out. He's 78. Look at him, how paunchy and weirdly colored he is. He's falling asleep everywhere. The other one is just a mini-me hoping to step in. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:His dad lived to be middle to upper 90s, so I don't think he's going to be croaking anytime soon. I lost one of the assassins in this one.
Speaker 3:There's always that. But he's not a healthy man. Have you looked at?
Speaker 1:him. No, he's actually listed as obese. He eats fast food all the time. It's just the way he is. But you know, sometimes you get those good genes and you can get away with that stuff.
Speaker 3:Well meanness. But I know that, yes, his little, his little boy is waiting for him to croak so he can step on in.
Speaker 1:Yes, sir, Speaking of croaking, I've got to ask you how's President Biden? Is he doing? Okay? Is he depressed? How's he doing? You know?
Speaker 3:look, President Joe Biden is one of the best, one of the finest people I've ever worked with. He's in Europe right now on his farewell tour, and then he'll go to the beach.
Speaker 2:I'll get a t-shirt from that tour.
Speaker 3:Back to Delaware.
Speaker 1:Another presidential beach bod. Okay, everybody's doing this, they're all going. Thank you Joe. Thank you Joe, thank you Joe.
Speaker 3:Thank you, joe. Joee's gotta go home to the beach house now. It's my act. Let's be very, very clear this is not joe, but I am not going to run the white house. I is not a joe biden administration kamala has her own agenda and we're going to move forward. All the people, all the time.
Speaker 1:It's good you're saying that now, because you've got to fuck that up on the View when they ask you like is there anything you would change? If you look back at the years you've been in with the Biden administration, you went. I can't think of anything.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, they caught me off guard, but it's not true. I'm not Joe Biden and I will not run the White House like Joe Biden Not that there was anything wrong with that but we're going to move forward. We're moving forward.
Speaker 1:That's good to know.
Speaker 3:So let's do our facial salute to Joe Biden. Now, be nice, he's a lovely man, lovely family man.
Speaker 1:I like him, I voted for him. I'm glad he withdrew. He's still in signs of his age. It's a good thing he dropped out. So happy to have you Now. Go win the damn election. Go do it.
Speaker 3:You help me, you vote for me, everybody who's listening to this. It is not time to sit on the sidelines. Get out there and vote for Harris Waltz. We are the future.
Speaker 1:Lizzo's bringing in all the fat chicks for you and Castillo's bringing in all the Brits for you. What more can a girl ask for? You're done, you're in the office, I like you. It's over you too, honestly. Your cards, oh, I like you.
Speaker 3:It's over you too, honestly, your cards oh thank you, I'm not sure about that.
Speaker 2:By the way, we are now known as the cancelled guys. Not cancelled radio guys just cancelled guys, just cancelled guys. Yeah, that's right In this woke society.
Speaker 1:We are cancelled, guys.
Speaker 2:Like Lizzo was C. That's right In this woke society. We are canceled. Guys Like Lizzo was canceled apparently.
Speaker 3:No, no, we are not part of the canceled community. We're out there, we're doing our jobs, we're voting.
Speaker 1:The subway sandwich is no longer named after Lizzo. It's gotten to get off the map.
Speaker 3:Leave Lizzo alone. How about Liz Cheney? How about my girl Liz Cheney, my sister, my homie?
Speaker 1:You know what? I'm not a big fan of her dad, Dick Cheney, but I never did like him. But I think Liz Cheney is pretty cool. She's a very brave woman for doing what she did yeah. I mean she said it by doing that, but she stuck with her conviction. So proud of her and you should be happy to have her endorsement. Yeah, good deal.
Speaker 3:She's my girl and you know daddy followed suit, so for whatever reason, people will follow him too. So good job, Dickie.
Speaker 1:You're going back to that lesbian thing, like we were talking about earlier. Is that what's going on?
Speaker 3:Well, you never know. Liz is pretty good looking Like me.
Speaker 1:I look really good in the dark. She's got good hair Got good hair, that's right, she's got good hair Okay.
Speaker 2:No Brazilian on her then.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bp Harris, thank you so much for being with us today. I know you got to go get the last of those stupid undecided voters. Wrap this baby up Two weeks to go, two weeks to go.
Speaker 3:Two weeks to go. Help me, boys, we're in the sprint. You boys do it for me. Okay, vote for a change and moving forward.
Speaker 2:Gotcha Okay.
Speaker 1:Thank you, we'll do it. Bye, we'll see you at the after election party. Okay, I'll be there.
Speaker 3:I'll be the one on the floor going free drinks. Oh, you two honestly.
Speaker 2:Oh, we are. We are indeed All right. Thank you Back to me. I got to go to my next appearance.
Speaker 3:Thanks so much for having me on your show. Bye, go get him. Bye.
Speaker 1:Thank you, bye, wow, I just can't wait. Two weeks ago, we're going to party. Party. Costello's out there, costello's out there. We're going to party like it's 1959.
Speaker 2:That is 1959.
Speaker 1:The Brits are going. You're hearing bombs.
Speaker 2:I'll go back another 10 years, perhaps that was cool.
Speaker 1:That wrapped up all of our different press tour the podcast, different shows. Now she's back to the conventional stuff rallies and news programs. I didn't want to ask her about it. She did Fox News. I'd be like Trump doing CNN, which you will never do. Rallies and news programs I didn't want to ask her about it, but she did Fox News. I'd be like Trump doing CNN, which he will never do because he hates being fact-checked. Can you imagine why she did Fox News? Oh man, she fell to the ground Sitting there by a whole network of people who make fun of her every day. She went on there and did an interview for half an hour. It was great.
Speaker 2:That's the way to do it.
Speaker 1:No, we'll see. All day was making fun of her appearance. I'm just going damn.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll see if I'm right, and I think I am, you know.
Speaker 1:I I do agree with you. I think you're right. I think she's far enough ahead. It's not going to be as close as they say, oh God.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wonder what. January the 6th? What do we do? Five.
Speaker 1:What do we do if we're wrong? What happens if we're wrong?
Speaker 2:Buy a gun.
Speaker 1:Buy a few guns. Are we moving to England? England's a bigger mess than what we got going on right now. So what are we going to do? Where are we going to go?
Speaker 2:Couldn't afford that.
Speaker 1:Close our ears up to all this shit going on for the next four years.
Speaker 2:If he loses, what are we going to do? Assassinate him.
Speaker 1:Jesus Christ, you can't say that you can have someone knocking on your door.
Speaker 2:That helicopter's coming for me now, I don't really care.
Speaker 1:You can think it and you can say it to someone, but not out loud to a bunch of people listening. I wouldn't do that. A bunch of people yeah, I think I can name you all. You might want to hit that little edit button.
Speaker 2:I would fuck him.
Speaker 1:What did he say, hey?
Speaker 2:you know what?
Speaker 1:Better be careful.
Speaker 2:Frenchie guys, our producers don't put that on TikTok. Thank you, oh God.
Speaker 1:If they put that after you, for sure we'll get this in their costume.
Speaker 2:Come on, boy. We like to teach you about Lizzo.
Speaker 1:I got him held hostage in there, okay.
Speaker 2:Hey, you know what? Maybe get Lizzo to sit on him. She could sit on his face and that'd be the end of it. That'll do it. No, yes.
Speaker 1:I'm surprised it's okay. What a cruel death that would be. Huh, It'd be like. Go brave, cover up his face. He'd just disappear in there, he'd just be gone. Yeah, what a great horror movie that would make you know.
Speaker 2:Just imagine having him hump on top of you. You know time for bed, baby. Okay, honey, here I come. Sploosh, that is the sound of you know, the flesh meeting, Sploosh.
Speaker 1:As you folks can see, the thick British humor is really in full force today, isn't it?
Speaker 2:It has to be If you had the day. Well, actually you did have the day that I usually have yesterday.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, it's okay. Yesterday is the day, today is the day.
Speaker 2:All different deals, all new, all new deals and prizes and aggravation coming my way today.
Speaker 1:You still can't even vote yet, can you?
Speaker 2:No, Like I said, no point until they get rid of the Electoral College. I will, with interest be watching what happens here.
Speaker 1:I've been here for 30 years, still can't vote. That's it Just taking advantage of what America's got to offer you without giving back? Oh, that's right, but you pay taxes.
Speaker 2:Yes, I do. Why yes, I do?
Speaker 1:You're missing out on the big thrill of being able to vote. Man, that's a big deal. You want to be a true American, you've got to vote. You're a market If they paid me, I'd do it.
Speaker 2:Shit that Costello's voting for her. I guess I better too.
Speaker 1:Freaking Brit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he knows what's what he knows. What's what he knows. Lizzo oh South.
Speaker 1:Carolina's slaying going today, so I can't believe you're saying that. That's right. So Clemson is, excuse me, south Carolina is beating Oklahoma today, and why aren't you there? Because I have to do this. We could have done this before the show. After the show, we got some great audio from the game. That's two times you missed. First time ESPN game day is right there in your backyard at Columbia. They haven't been there in years. That was a big deal. Thousands of them. Costello, go Get some good audio for the show. Listen.
Speaker 2:X is coming to town.
Speaker 3:I'm a little tired of you, Dad.
Speaker 1:I don't want to go out there with all the rednecks, but you know that's where the great audio comes from. You're playing a big powerhouse school like Oklahoma in your backyard. Where are you at? In front of your bed sheet. You know there's the other. You're insane right there Instead of being out there at the game. You can do this afterwards, man. You can think of the audio you're going to get.
Speaker 2:I was going to say it isn't sold out. I don't know how much does it cost to go to a football game. I saw you.
Speaker 1:How easy is it. They get tickets for anything, oh.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Or just even hanging outside to get where the tailgaters are. I mean, those guys don't get in, they sit there and listen to the game in the parking lot. They're tailgating out there. They have no tickets to get in or to get some free barbecue, meet some new friends, you know. Or funny action Go over here and have one of our burgers. Come on over here, boy, you talk funny. We'll give you a burger. Here's a beer.
Speaker 2:You look awful white. Have you been outside this year at all?
Speaker 1:I've been saving some of this classic beer for today, here's a Billy beer. I'll save you a Billy beer. Here you go, oh, billy beer, I remember.
Speaker 2:Billy beer. Remember those right Good stuff? Yes, when Billy who was, for those of you who don't know, was President Carter's brother decided to urinate against, he was in the airport and they got out on the tarmac and just decided to urinate because he drank too much, billy Bear.
Speaker 1:He did, was he writing his name in the sand there, or just you know? Yeah, billy, billy Carter, billy Carter, billy Carter.
Speaker 2:Yeah indeed, Billy Bear.
Speaker 1:What else is new that's happening in your negative woods, Costello? Anything?
Speaker 2:Nothing, really. I am trying to think Well, they got the tree off the neighbor's roof, finally have you seen what's-his-butt out there after they took the tree off? I haven't seen him in ages which is good because it makes him nice and quiet. He's probably gone. Do you think? What's his butt out there After they took the tree up? I haven't seen him in ages, which is good. He's probably gone. I'm tired. He was actually working, so Not in jail.
Speaker 1:He's working.
Speaker 2:That's what I hear.
Speaker 1:Working at the jail.
Speaker 2:Prison yard. Good old, what was his name? Pookie there you go. Prison yard Good old.
Speaker 1:What was his name?
Speaker 2:Pookie, let me ask Christine what his name was. To fill in your blank, Would you, Christine? What was his name? What's his name? Christine Pookie. Ah, you know him too Marvelous. It's a bloody nuisance.
Speaker 1:So did you see the rest of sammy out there, or nobody? It's a whole new group. You know what?
Speaker 2:oh, they're just, they're just very quiet. They just don't see him anymore. They do have a new puppy, though. Uh, that'll be dead by new year's, just like the other one. Um, anybody any?
Speaker 1:yelling out there any campfires going on, any fights and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:All the fun going on, no no, no, well, it's got cold now. No, it's been very quiet and I'm going. Well, this is cool. Keep it up for when I sell the house and, um, I told you some people about that this next week.
Speaker 1:So try and get things out here in vegas we had a uh, as they call it here a cold front come through. So the other morning it was 57 degrees and and I began walking with people wearing these big fur parkas and stuff like that. I'm going I'd be wearing shorts if it wasn't working. It's 57 degrees. There was something about how cold it is. Are you cold, christine? Yeah, she was cold. No, she's a vegan.
Speaker 1:She's been here for still is. Yeah, she's been here, us here, 30 years so far. It's kind of like where you are, you get used to it. I guess it's 55, 60 degrees, like freezing. I got the fur coats coming out. I got the little sweaters and the doggies. The doggies are going. You're looking good, you're sweating to death here.
Speaker 2:I know a friend who always, oh, actually remember that guy, nate, who just loved you. We did a, did the other, chris Bailey. Yeah, I know, in the very early days of this show I called up a friend of mine who was a DJ as well and his name was also Chris Bailey, and I thought wouldn't it be fun if I got these two to talk to each other? Well, the other, chris Bailey, nathan, didn't go well, but anyway, the reason I bring him up, Making new friends every day.
Speaker 2:That's right, mate, Because he always used to wear shorts, Didn't matter the weather when it gets cold. There it does get cold, and that'd be Nathan with his little blue legs. I hate that Bailey. I hate that Bailey.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I'm still better than you.
Speaker 2:You talk to that guy.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I'm still better than you? I hear you talk to that guy.
Speaker 2:I don't know if he's still alive. Who knows?
Speaker 1:Probably not. He gets called here about two days out of the year. He's one of the guys we saw frozen on the street this week. Oh yeah. We'll see anyway, we're here in Vegas and getting ready for the big Formula 1s coming back.
Speaker 2:Oh, coming back to Vegas, how jolly fun. Hate it.
Speaker 1:Hate it. Hate it Getting blocked off traffic building the grandstands getting screwed over again Hate it. Just can't go down the strip. Can't go down there, it's not worth it.
Speaker 2:It's an incredible way. I mean, yeah, the whole town's screwed up it is. We've only got eight more to go after this.
Speaker 1:As far as those locals, you know, we don't like it, we don't go do it, we don't care for it and they screw us over.
Speaker 1:That's what's happening here. So I did all this stuff to get ready for that. I drove by Halloween Town this morning so you missed that. Over by Tivoli Village in Halloween Town they go the biggest pumpkin patch ever. I'm going. They're in a freaking concrete parking lot. What do you mean pumpkin patch? It's a bunch of pumpkins in the parking lot. They call it a pumpkin patch and the kids are going. This is weird.
Speaker 2:Where's the hay.
Speaker 1:Where's the grass? Where's the trees?
Speaker 2:What all happened here. I had a photo booth at one of those once and I lost a shitload of money and it was a really good idea. I had a coffin and the idea was you'd go in there, get in the coffin and have your picture taken and I'd print it out right there in seconds.
Speaker 1:it took Nobody wants to get into a frigging coffin? Oh yes, they do. Claustrophobic. They do want to get in the coffin. Why do you use your shirt on that then?
Speaker 2:Not get in the coffin. It should make a lot of money. Because the one thing I didn't bank on was everybody's got a cell phone now and you just can't stop people from taking it Once they get in the coffin.
Speaker 1:they have to charge them just for getting in the coffin if they take their own selfie, though?
Speaker 2:right, I'll try that too. It didn't go down well. I soon remember getting punched for some reason.
Speaker 1:I've been there, done that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it never happened before. Yeah, it was at. I'm trying to remember it was in one of the big parking lots, like the Rio's parking lot, I think. Where is the pumpkin? The House of Horrors this year.
Speaker 1:The Rio's like a grease pit hotel. I'm not surprised they have the Rio, man.
Speaker 2:It's a scary place, yeah they could have a haunted house inside, couldn't they?
Speaker 1:I stayed there once and the pillow was about that thick, maybe half an inch wide, the sheets they didn't change them. From the last guest, it was awful. I said you have an extra pillow to go. We don't do that. We don't have extra pillows. Extra blanket, we don't have extra blanket. God, get me out of this freaking place. You feel like you're sliding off the bed, you know, and you put in like 10 showers a day and it still wasn't enough, you know. So the Caesars has bought it and they promised big changes. So we shall see. Since you're a big sports fan, though, Costello, the TPC turn Summerlin is hosting the PGA tournament this week here in Vegas.
Speaker 2:Mr Golf.
Speaker 1:Guy right, Mr Golf Guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I'll be there, I'm on a sand trap.
Speaker 1:I can't get out. That was the first hole. I'm like shit, we're out there playing golf and you hit a ball and then you went to get it and you couldn't get up the hill. I'm just going, oh God. Well, I'm really really happy we had a tow truck. We had a tow truck and a whole one.
Speaker 2:Well, I had the back surgery. The other day I went to see that doctor and they said oh, you're doing really well You're doing. How much on the back I go? Oh, it only hurts once twice a day. No better, yeah, it's better.
Speaker 1:But my hips are screwed. Hip replacement Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's next in line. Yeah, yeah, Well, do you have the same thing done? How did it work for you for your foot?
Speaker 1:I said yeah, guess what it did for me? Nothing, oh. Well, you know, I mean, I wouldn't do a surgery and put an electrode in my ankle. So therefore it just shoots things out and kills those nerves, kills those nerves. No pain, no pain. So there you go. That's what it was actually approved by insurance company. I went really so, do it, do it Free, might as well do it. Yeah, love having surgery.
Speaker 2:Old part of being a baby boomer, you see.
Speaker 1:Love having surgery. Can't have enough of them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm sure I'll get a few more booked in here.
Speaker 1:Gas me cut me, gas me, cut me.
Speaker 2:I like the gas man.
Speaker 1:I wish they wouldn't do that. It would be better right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, wouldn't it?
Speaker 1:I wouldn't care.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the way to do it. Then you have your teeth done, then I don't do it anymore.
Speaker 1:It's like ketamine. They do that Propefol. I do that for the short-term stuff, not uncommon Ketamine. Don't get mad Shit. They do it for really short stuff. They give it to you in five-minute intervals and stuff.
Speaker 1:My granddaughter got bit by her dog. Okay, oh, I don't know the idea. I said it take her into a new cosmetic closure on that. So I gave her nine doses of ketamine because I only last five minutes time. She kept coming, coming awake. Oh, really woke up and they're like suturing her and she's like more ketamine. It's like it was then. It lasts like five minutes. I did she's young and small. I want to give her a little small dose of that and give her nine. So, yeah, bloody hell, it's all closed up. Everything's pretty good, cause you know, when you're kids like you do stuff to your dog, you don't mean to, but the dog is cornering itself.
Speaker 2:I mean, things happens these days down.
Speaker 1:You get this costello knocking the door animal control. You have to come to an interview and make sure your puppy's all right. If it happens again, your puppy's gone, I'll put it down, you know. So that's the thing, even though it's just like it happens. It happened to me when I was a guy. I bit my, my cousin's dog. He was a little a chain thing. We're all running up teases, all runs we can get away from before he hits the chain and he has to stop. I didn't get away fast enough. I wanted to say hurt right on my ass, you'll get a rabies shot.
Speaker 2:Oh nice, Don't they give those to you in the stomach? No, I think it was my hip.
Speaker 1:I don't know why I'm thinking that my wife didn't give it to me. The sucker's going to hurt. My brother said. We can hear you screaming all the way in the parking lot.
Speaker 2:And you're inside a building. I said, yeah, you're okay.
Speaker 1:It hurt like a mother. I didn't tell you what.
Speaker 2:Well, you know what I think? That just about wraps it up for us today. I'm worn out after Camilla.
Speaker 1:She was great, so go ahead and add her on. Go get out to the game. Man, hit the after parties out there, costello Come on.
Speaker 2:All right, I'm gone, I'm gone.
Speaker 1:Take that audio thing, get some audio, be a true game cock.
Speaker 2:You're going to be cock short today.
Speaker 1:Don't put your shirt on. We're going to go cocks.
Speaker 2:Don't wear the one on. We're going to go. Cocks, there they are.
Speaker 1:Don't wear the one you showed me last week that says I love cocks.
Speaker 2:Don't put that one on Get invitations to the bar.
Speaker 1:I want a clear crowd as you walk through. There's room for the gay guy, do you?
Speaker 2:go to the bar. You know the special bar.
Speaker 1:No, I just like cock. I go to the Shabuzy bar. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 2:You know what? I think we're going to play Shabuzy right now.
Speaker 1:Let's do Shabuzy. I like Shabuzy, he's good.
Speaker 2:You're crazy. I tell you, you're crazy. Well, what are we going to do next week? Squeal, oh, okay, we'll make for a lecture.
Speaker 1:I'll be squealing by then, okay, squeal, squeal.
Speaker 2:Hopefully by next week I'll have my new board done or the bits working anyway. Okay, oh, it's really cool. The odd thing is I spent a lot of money on this and one thing I didn't get is an instruction manual.
Speaker 1:Dude, you being Mr Electronic, I would surprise you to even want an instruction manual.
Speaker 2:Oh no, no, I learned to breathe those things, Boy. It's amazing what you've laid out.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's what it's for. We're going out with Trump squealing with his beautiful body on the beach and someone attacks him. Squeal, squeal, big boy.
Speaker 2:Squeal. If I could find it quick enough, I would do it.
Speaker 1:But it'll have to be about as mental images as we go Trump bumping Lizzo.
Speaker 2:Oh Slurp Sl. Oh Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp.
Speaker 1:Blah, blah, blah. It'd be like this that's it, that's it, that's it, that's it, that's it.
Speaker 2:Oh, you know I do it the best because people say so, and I know I'm the best because I've got oh, oh oh, I'm leaving now.
Speaker 1:Costello's going to do this all by himself.
Speaker 2:Goodbye, cruel world, end recording.