The Cancelled Radio Guys
Chris and Costello: things we couldn't do or say on the radio...Chris and Costello worked in big market radio together in another life, now they bring you a rather skewed version of what's happening...interviews, Attitudes, and reviews all in an interesting and captivating way, somewhat irreverent. That's what you should expect from an American radio Icon (Chris Bailey) and a man who only has one name...and turned his back on Queen and country, Costello ( He's from England).
The Cancelled Radio Guys
Thanksgiving Antics and Holiday Hilarity: Butterball Bloopers, Cher's Christmas Charm, and Radio Revelries
Remember that time you called the Butterball hotline just to see if they actually had answers to your ridiculous turkey questions? We certainly do, and it still makes us chuckle. This episode takes a humorous stroll through our Thanksgiving memories, from the quirks of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade to the unspoken rules of the Westminster Dog Show. We even touch on the ever-expanding phenomenon of Black Friday, wondering aloud if anyone actually uses those absurd gadgets and skincare products that flood the holiday sales.
But there's more than just Thanksgiving chatter on our menu. We can't resist a lively debate on holiday music, especially when it involves refusing to subject ourselves to "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." Cher also takes center stage as we celebrate her holiday album and iconic parade performance. Her memoir, her chart-topping history that once bested The Beatles, and our wishful thinking about having her as a guest add to the fun.
As we reminisce, we dive into tales from our radio broadcasting days, recounting escapades involving stuffed squirrel contests and the unpredictable drama of radio station life. Each story comes with its own blend of nostalgia and absurdity, from the antics of unforgettable engineers to chaotic Christmas parties. With promises of more outrageous tales to come, we wrap up with a farewell that leaves you eagerly anticipating our next installment of holiday hilarity.
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You know what? You remind me of a chimpanzee in a zoo Sitting in his cage Going oh fuck, don't rock the boat. Don't rock the boat, baby.
Speaker 2:I'm doing don't rock the boat, are you ready, sir? Here we go, there we go. Hey, hey, this is Chris.
Speaker 1:You haven't even eaten the turkey yet. Hi Costello here, Poor Chris. Yeah, we got to say Happy.
Speaker 2:Thanksgiving, I know going gobble, gobble, gobble gobble.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say gobble gobble, then Happy Thanksgiving. Oh well, post, I should have thought of that. Let's see what we got here. No, that's about it. Today, the turkey just hit the fan.
Speaker 2:I'm surprised you haven't taken it. I mean, being British, this is for you. Don't give a shit all the days, it's just, it's all about an eating day, so eating's good.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe at your house. I've got to get to Trader Joe's before they close.
Speaker 2:This reminds me of three things. Two are still active. One I miss doing. I used to do my terrestrial radio show.
Speaker 2:One of course I always got to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, don't care how young, how old you are, it's just always fun to watch. So I still watch it. Hell, no, I'm kidding. Second one is the Westminster Dog Show. You know, man, I love it because having three dogs you know this is true, you have to, you gotta get a watch. I always hope my breed them go. Why does my breed never win? I got a bernese mountain dog, a black russian terrier and the the one they just entered to their categories just two years ago, a legato, which is an italian truffle hunting dog especially not in italy, and I had no truffles in my backyard. He's pretty useless. She just goes in the back and just digs up a bunch of holes looking for something. You know I look at her. She'll just spend hours looking into a hole and just digging. I'm going, I keep going out there. We don't have any truffles. I'm sorry, just give it up. No truffles here.
Speaker 1:You should buy some and bury them under the tree and give them to her.
Speaker 2:She finds mushrooms and she goes is this it Nope?
Speaker 1:Really Not bad.
Speaker 2:Good try. And the third thing I don't think it's available anymore. You may remember this. I remember when Butterball had the Butterball hotline for numbnuts like me at that time who didn't know how to do a turkey or didn't know how to take the gut bag out and stuff. I didn't cook a turkey one year with the gut bag in there. I go what's that smell? Crap the bag's over there. I said, did you put stuffing in it? Well, it looked like it already had stuffing in it.
Speaker 1:But man, I don't think it's wrong.
Speaker 2:But I used to call and harass that hotline all the time. They try to be nice and straight. I just put them on live and just dial them up. How can I help you? I go do I need to spank the turkey before I stuff it? And they'd go oh no, sir, you don't have to beat the meat on this one to get it nice and tender. So I'd go through telling me I can't beat my meat and they'd start to go.
Speaker 1:Well, wait a minute.
Speaker 2:You know you draw me into something. Yeah, it was just they'd hang up. I called back yet another operator and so I asked the other questions and stuff.
Speaker 1:It'd be great, probably, really enjoyed it after they figured out what was going on, and at this point we should probably mention that this is probably exactly what Chris would be doing had he not decided to play with us here at the cancelled radio guys.
Speaker 2:We've decided to call ourselves that because well, are you saying I'd be beating my meat or spanking the turkey?
Speaker 1:Or both. You'd probably be beating your meat while you spank your turkey.
Speaker 2:I don't know, does it sound better? It's cool seeing spanky. Let's try and spank the turkey. You have to make it seasonal, I guess.
Speaker 1:Yes, indeed, it's something about dolphins I can't remember.
Speaker 2:I just miss the. I do miss that butterball hotline. They try to be so straight and they don't want to offend anybody. They don't want to fall into whatever you're asking. You just torture them and go crazy. Thanksgiving is a kind of weird time of year anyway. How is that You're supposed to be giving thanks?
Speaker 1:I'm just saying it is. We're in the midst of winter. We're about to get into Christmas. We've in the midst of winter. We're about to get into Christmas. Well, we've been into Christmas since July the 5th.
Speaker 2:Since the end of Halloween, but officially. But hey, I mean also, it's like the thing about Thanksgiving, of course, is Black Friday. It always used to be. Black Friday was one day, the day after Thanksgiving, of course. The weekend they'd open it after Thanksgiving. People would sleep out there, wait for the stores to open at 6 am to get all these super deals, and that was part of it. You had to go out there and wait in the cold and wait in line and the rush of people. I was kind of like the fun of it, you know. But now Black Friday has been going on all friggin' month. Every TV show you look at, at the end of the show they're going let's go to our own super deals, let's log into this and get these deals. They're always selling a bunch of shit that I don't need. What a great deal. I'm just going. I don't need the orange peeler and juice maker and sick of straw and all in one thing I'm going.
Speaker 2:I don't need that Stuff like that A lot of skin care, a Stuff like that A lot of skin care, a lot of lotion, a lot of freaking suitcases, you know.
Speaker 1:Oh, always suitcases. Let me just show you something that is probably in your suitcase all the way from Vegas. I can see the Grinch, but nobody else can. You need to bring him on there. You go there, he is Okay. Now bring him and put him right here.
Speaker 2:Just kidding. Siegel, if I had room here, he'd be. Like he's a little bit active, he can't be.
Speaker 1:That's really not crap. You have to put him on the other side there if you want him in the shot. If you can't hear that, Watch to see his feet.
Speaker 2:If I had him on the table, he'd be dancing all over. Hear that Watch his feet. If I had him on the table, he'd be dancing all over the table.
Speaker 1:Oh wonderful, I'm sorry to completely blow the whole thing we were talking about, but I'm looking at this guy.
Speaker 2:Happy feet, man, happy feet, oh you got to get seasonal man. You got to get seasonal.
Speaker 1:Yes, you do get seasonal. Man, you've got to get seasonal. Yes, you do, yes, yes, and I think perhaps, maybe next week we'll do our season, talking about seasonal, do our seasonal Christmas music.
Speaker 2:I was going to kind of mention that today we can actually get into it, because once Thanksgiving starts and it's kind of a late day for Thanksgiving this year, I mean, it's kind of a short Christmas season, I guess, which I think is one of the reasons they started early, of course they always do. I used to always kick off my Thanksgiving by calling the Butterball Hotline, so that's just taken away. Then I go Black Friday and go oh, black Friday is every day, it's all over the. You can buy online now too. But the other thing is our new tradition, which is the chris and costello, our list of favorite christmas songs. Yes, so I was thinking about that. Today I'm going. And which one did you pick last year, do you remember?
Speaker 1:the one I picked.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I don't remember as far back as like two days ago, but if you can remember, like your last christmas did you think I want a hippopotamus for christ? Did you pick I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas, did you?
Speaker 1:pick that one. That was the one you hated.
Speaker 2:I do hate that and we're not playing it this year. We're not going to play it this year.
Speaker 1:We're not huh.
Speaker 2:Well, listen, it drives me nuts, especially the original one. I Want a Hippopotamus.
Speaker 1:What a stupid-ass song. It's a great song. I even made a promo out of it too. Yeah, you did, Yep.
Speaker 2:We should talk to someone who sings that song. Let them wake up Christmas morning and have a damn baby hippopotamus in their house.
Speaker 1:Well, very lucky for you, I can't find it right this second I can tell you I like some of the newer ones.
Speaker 2:It was about two or three years ago. Gwen Stefani put out a Christmas CD. I thought, oh well, she sings a few of the standards, but she wrote a bunch of new songs, actually pretty damn good. Last year I liked that new Cher Christmas CD Last year's Cher Christmas CD. It came out a year ago and she even sang it at the Macy's Parade Last year. It made the debut of the single and it really sounds like that song you know you believe in them After all it kind of sounds that, with the synthetic voice as well, and it's just classic Sierra, it just sounds good.
Speaker 2:She's making the rounds Talk shows and interviews again Podcasts, except for this one, you know, talking, it just sounds good. And she's making the rounds of talk shows and interviews again podcasts except for this one, you know talking, you know, because she's going to resell, get the sales up again for a Christmas CD. So she's 78 years old now and she dates a guy who's 40 years younger than she is. That's not me.
Speaker 1:You're not 40 years younger than she is. I'm trying to emulate Start singing. I'm trying to emulate Start singing. Come on, I'm going to emulate Cher Sing.
Speaker 2:Sing it, bud Sing it Okay.
Speaker 1:Come on sing it. What were the words?
Speaker 2:I'm going to emulate.
Speaker 1:Cher. I'm going to emulate, cher.
Speaker 2:You sound like a frigging munchkin. Well, I know so does she.
Speaker 1:She's like a freaking munchkin. Well, I know, so does she. She's got this in the Christmas elf. Hang on, let me voice change. I'm a Christmas elf.
Speaker 2:I've reached puberty. She's got a good voice to go with it, so when she does that synthesizing, it sounds really good.
Speaker 1:Here's why Now it'll sound a lot different.
Speaker 2:Did you ever listen to that CD last year? Your Christmas CD, cher? It's really good.
Speaker 1:No, why, why would I?
Speaker 2:Also, we've got to keep promoting Cher. Another reason why she's out there talking get the sales of the Christmas CD again. But she's released her memoir.
Speaker 1:It's called Cher, part one. Yes, her memoir is called share, part one.
Speaker 2:Yes, part one.
Speaker 1:I liked what she said about that. She said you know what? I've taken the money. I guess I better write the bloody book.
Speaker 2:Well, she's 78. She better write part two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know she's not buying any green bananas right now, so you know this part was good.
Speaker 2:It's kind of like a teasing in a way. So she goes, you know, talking about all the. She had a couple of husbands and then all the you know young guys and guys that she dated, which is a lot, you know. And they go well, you know they're dating and they're hanging out with Cher. So I am Cher.
Speaker 1:So they expect a great, expect great sex, and you know what they get it. I went and she's 70-something. That's great, that's great.
Speaker 2:It's called Cher. I like it. That's some great sex for me too. I'll be like that Cher. It's just Cher being Cher. I just think she's great.
Speaker 1:Good sense of humor. Good sense of humor. She would work very well here at the Canceled Radio Guys show. She would be good.
Speaker 2:She'd be great. So, cher, if you're listening or if you have management people listening or any fans of yours listening, everyone contact Cher and tell her she needs to come on the Kristen Costello Canceled Guys show. We would have fun.
Speaker 1:We even have an Englishman on the show. We don't bring him out very often. This is true.
Speaker 2:She likes England. One show she did. I don't like to mention it too often. It's not the Rogan thing, she ain't that dumb, but she did do, for whatever reason. The Howard Stern thing here you have an icon like Sharon DeSho, so you want to have some fun. I mean, you want those and you know that she'd be the type to bring it right back to you. Oh, slap you in the face and tickle you.
Speaker 2:Yes, to go into the thing I'm Mr Great Interviewer now because I'm old and I don't have fun like I used to, so I'm going to be known as a great interviewer you know she's talking about. So you had your first single I got you, babe, and just rocking up the charts and just you just came so famous. I mean, how do you do that? I'm just going what a dumb ass boring question. It is a stupid question, something I didn't know. She said that when her song, uh, that I got you knocked the beatles off the charts they were number one and then kicked him out and she took over number one. I didn't know that.
Speaker 1:I didn't know that either. That's a little bit of trivia that you know things to know and yell. That's exactly what that is.
Speaker 2:So are you going to read the book Costello Cher's memoir.
Speaker 1:If and when it comes out.
Speaker 2:part two oh, I know You'll buy the audio book. Oh, part two.
Speaker 1:Oh, I know You'll buy the audio book oh, that's a good idea.
Speaker 2:Read what's that? I'll listen to it. I'll do my headphones, because I was wearing his headphones. Yeah Well, I do because you won't look like a radio professional.
Speaker 1:Well, if I turn it up too loud with the speakers, it'll feed back.
Speaker 2:You don't hear my speakers feeding back now, do you?
Speaker 1:That's true, we don't you know why?
Speaker 2:Because I'm an ex-radio professional, you're pro-professional. A professional.
Speaker 1:Pick up too fast. Pick up too fast, as you remember, we used to do radio Broadcast, radio Costello.
Speaker 2:You remember we both had to have what Like a third class.
Speaker 1:Oh, third class. Yeah, yeah, yeah, license.
Speaker 2:That's an easy little third class thing. What did moi have? I had a first class radio engineering license. Thank you very much.
Speaker 1:Thank you very much. Yeah, you and Noel.
Speaker 2:You know why they did it? Because they did it because it helped me at the beginning get jobs and other people couldn't get jobs. When the night shifts are going, something happens, you can fix it because you get a first class license. I'm going to kick the damn transmitter. Let's go kick it. It comes back on. Turn it off and turn it back on. That's it. I could do some minor internal work, but I like to just kick it or turn it on. Turn it off like you do your cell phone now, and if it came back on, great. If it didn't, I just call the real engineer and just sign off and go home that's exactly right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I used to call. Was it Noel who was our engineer? He was an interesting guy. Oh, I'm a great man. Oh yeah, I used to call him Engineer Bob. Of course I did that to his face and he'd always be walking in on my shift, always because bloody TIP would be going off half the time and shit would happen. And I was Engineer Bob he. During his time in Vietnam because we're going back a few years now he had his PT patrol boat blown up from underneath him. It was plunged into the water.
Speaker 2:That explains a lot. That explains the strapping on the head and the slow response.
Speaker 1:Quite possibly he only retired, like last year, I think he just kept going.
Speaker 2:Wow, he's up there.
Speaker 1:He was up there, yeah.
Speaker 2:He's older than Cher is, I'm sure, jeez.
Speaker 2:Well, you know my favorite engineer even though Bob was good, his name was John Heimer. I always said if we had trouble with the transmitter, he's gonna give it to him, but he would do everything I asked for I'd go. You know what I said can you make us louder on the dial so they push into our station all of a sudden? We jump out louder? He did that, you know. I said can you get more bass to my mic and make our mic just make my mic, our mic sound better, more deep and basic? Anything I requested, anything I requested he could do.
Speaker 2:Excellent, but he really took pride in his work. It was about one morning we were having some issues. There was a lot of staticky going on on the board, things were dropping. It just sounded like shit. So you know me, I'm making fun of him. I'm going waiting on John Heimel maneuvering here and fixing the transmitter Sure as slow today, hope we can do it.
Speaker 2:And he was listening to me just giving a crap as he was driving in. He was so worked up when he got in. He walks in the studio and started choking me Live on the air. I'm going oh, john Hyatt movie. I said no, no, no. Other people on the show were shocked and going holy crap, he's choking the crap out of me. And he just absolutely lost it. And he walked out, went back to the transfer room, fixed it and just got in his car and left. And he came back the next day and apologized. I said no man, it was pretty damn funny. I said. But I really liked him, I respect him, he was really great. But I'd never been choked live in the air by the frigging engineer before.
Speaker 1:I was just thinking about another engineer I had, which actually he was in Colorado, roger Teague, I think his name was, I remember correctly.
Speaker 2:But, the interesting thing about him was that he was on the original recording of I Call the Law and the Law I. He was part of that. Yeah, he was a bass player, I think, oh, bass player, I think, oh, bass player. But then they had a big, a really famous recording studio. It's open here, like uh, north of denver, a little bit in the mountains there, rolling stones were there, beetles were there. I mean, you saw, just just a million people went there and did music and recorded stuff. You know, neil young did his best album oh, wait a minute, and he also.
Speaker 1:He also, he came from Houston. Hold that against him. Well, freely. Sorry, houston people.
Speaker 2:That's Beyonce territory. Beyonce territory, houston, aren't you?
Speaker 1:But anyway he went to school with Janice Joplin. She was from Houston, he was in her class.
Speaker 2:So he drove her to drink and just go shopping. That's right.
Speaker 1:He was the holding company he was.
Speaker 2:You'll just have to look that up every time. Every time he plays music, he makes the dogs bark.
Speaker 1:That's probably the mailman at this time, Anyway.
Speaker 2:So Having John Heimel, my engineer, choke me. I hope John's still around. I'd like for you to hear this, John. He laughs now. I hope John's still around. I'd like for you to hear this, john, he laughs now and I do, but my throat's never been the same. Let's get it. It was like the beginning of being choked. Remember that original TV series, night Court? Do you remember watching that? Yes, I do Remember the tall guy with the shaved head, right? Yes, I forget what his character's. Yes, what's his name? I don't remember his name. Oh, bull, right, was it Bull?
Speaker 1:Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, big, tall guy. He was like the bailiff or whatever, and I forget what his name was, but he was a really tall dude. He was having to be in town doing something over the weekend so I had him come in on Friday and he was late. So I guess he had to get a feel of what show he's coming on and just kind of see what what we were like. He was listening to me and I'm giving him shit because he's late. You know, as I get these attitudes, I'm an actor in a big show, I don't have to be on time. I have to come late, make an appearance. You know, and he's listening to me do this. And he comes, he bursts in the studio and since I had the commercial, he's going. God damn it. And you know there's traffic. Is that my fault and I'm late? So I'm not that way. You make people think I'm that way. Now you're giving the wrong impression of who I am. He's like in my face. He's like 6 20, I'm going.
Speaker 1:He's gonna kill me on the show.
Speaker 2:I mean just just don't choke me, okay. So it's, it's beginning because you have a whole like a domino effect. You know, once you start people coming in wanting to hit you and choke you, it just doesn't stop.
Speaker 1:It's funny, you have all these marvelous memories that we're spitting up.
Speaker 2:Well, these are reasons why we're canceled radio, guys, because of stuff like this. Well, of course I got sued. We got complaints a lot, but you know what? We have massive ratings. That's the whole point.
Speaker 1:A lot of fun too.
Speaker 2:Yes, One time during my birthday and we were doing a show on my birthday, okay.
Speaker 2:so I guess the other staff thought it would be great if we could have some dancer stripper come in and dance. I'm going and she's doing her thing, dancing. I'm thinking to myself. I'm going. You know, we're radio guys, no one can see her doing this, and she's. We're live on the show. You want me to describe what she's doing? Okay, she's grinding my left leg right now. Now she's pressing her breasts up against my chin. That's why, you know, I just I'll just describe it. And then, as she was leaving, I'm going.
Speaker 2:Well, she's a pretty girl, but you know she wasn't really all that good. You know, she didn't have much in the rhythm department and she could have been a little bit more sexy and stuff. Well, guess what? She comes tearing back down the hall these days, why do we have people with security around the studio? I have no idea, but it's like, oh, go on back there and beat the shit out of them. So she comes in and goes and she was crying. I went holy crap, she goes. You asshole. I was here trying to do something special for your birthday and slapped me right across the face and then walked out.
Speaker 1:Well, that's two slaps around the face that I know that you've had. I'm sure there's plenty more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I just you know, I kind of felt bad for her. I said, look, this is showbiz, baby, we're just having fun and you have to learn to go with the flow. This is not a personal thing against you. And she was like shaking and she was red. I'm going, good God. I pushed the cycle button on her. You know I was thinking knife, knife, knife. How many things didn't happen to you, Costello. I mean, why did you say I didn't?
Speaker 1:happen to you, costello? I didn't have anybody come up and go play Misty for me. Actually. No, think back.
Speaker 2:Great movie play Misty for me by the way Clean this wood, find this wood.
Speaker 1:Good movie oh okay, well, think back to our WVSR days, and I got every four of my new tires slashed. Remember that? Who did that? Uh, I think it was just. Uh, this woman who, um, I guess I went out on a date with her or something, and it really was just just that come over to my house and I'll make you dinner. It's like, well, if you tell me I'm coming around to your house, we're going to make dinner. That's what's going to happen okay, what was she?
Speaker 2:the dinner is that it?
Speaker 1:well, I think she wanted to be the dinner. I just started dating this other woman who I unfortunately married, but anyway. So, um, being the nice guy I am, I thought, well, I better not now. So I guess she was kind of pissed off at me after that and I have a feeling, and I'll bring something up here that I don't know if you know that I know, but we'll see.
Speaker 2:Uh why would she be pissed? Because, because you went to her house.
Speaker 1:Because I wouldn't screw her, because I wouldn't. You know, here's my bed, great, lovely bed, see you. But so later on, when I went up to Pittsburgh we're in the middle of Pittsburgh this woman comes running up going hey Costello, how are you? I heard you were moving up here, so I moved up here. Hey, costello, how are you? I heard you were moving up here, so I moved up here too. I go meet my wife. She also was probably, I mean, she was definitely stalking me all the way to Pittsburgh, for Christ's sake. But this is something I'm going to put you really on the spot here and you can deny if you like. But at the time that we parted company, somebody either called the local newspaper and said well, he was fired because he was helping somebody cheat on our million-dollar prize thing. That's something to do with a stuffed squirrel, that's about all I can remember. That never happens, by the way, so I don't know whether that was her.
Speaker 2:What the hell are you doing with a stuffed squirrel? I?
Speaker 1:mean geez, it's more fun to make a life turkey than it is to make a stuffed squirrel.
Speaker 2:So what?
Speaker 1:are you doing? I can't remember what the competition was, but oh, I know You're going to give. Well, the station was giving like $1,000 worth of lottery tickets.
Speaker 2:I said well, oh, right Okay.
Speaker 1:If you remember that.
Speaker 2:Here's some scratch tickets. Here you go.
Speaker 1:I mean you're right, it's a good idea actually.
Speaker 2:That means you'll win, even because those lottery tickets happen once in a while, but at least they get excited.
Speaker 1:But apparently this woman had come up and complained that she hadn't won and I had told her that she would win and to do? I can't remember what exactly it was. It wasn't any sexual favors or anything like that. Sure, no, I didn't need that, I had that covered. I was happily, happily, being screwed.
Speaker 2:As we're folks listening. You're figuring out. It's Chris and Castillo making new friends wherever we go.
Speaker 1:Yes, we are. And Chris is going. Oh shit, he knows about that. Fuck. Never mentioned it. In the last three, four years we've been talking. I remember paying my soon-to-be wife. Let me see what they've written about you in the paper. I go, no.
Speaker 2:Why? Where did that come from in the paper? Who did?
Speaker 1:it. I don't know. I couldn't find out, I don't know. I don't know whether the source was the station. I think it was because somebody was quoted. Might have been Doug, could have been you, could have been Chad, I'm not that way.
Speaker 2:Once you're gone, you've got a new thing going on. I wouldn't do that, but so someone for a joke may have done it. It wasn't me, so I can clear that up right now for you. So if it was. I'd tell you, it's been a long time I wouldn't mind telling you, but it wasn't me so I don't do that.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you what it's an anniversary which number in the face. So I'm just telling you, Bailey.
Speaker 2:Around Thanksgiving, or something that happened.
Speaker 1:It was.
Speaker 2:Thanksgiving. I thought it was.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fire me, would you? Just because I abused your wife I?
Speaker 2:tell you who would do something like that. Okay, it wasn't me, but I tell you who would do something like that. A very vindictive person that would have been the ex-wife. She would do something like that in a very vindictive person that would have been the ex-wife.
Speaker 1:She would do something like that in a frigging heartbeat, oh really, oh, hell yeah. Didn't think of that oh gosh.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'll tell you why. Because she's still doing stuff like that.
Speaker 1:Still.
Speaker 2:Jeez, still does you do something, you're headed the wrong way. She will not let up on you. Always hold a grudge, never forget. If she has a chance to do something, burn you or call a newspaper or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yep, that's exactly something she would do. Well, I didn't even think of that.
Speaker 2:I would apologize for her, but I don't have any reason.
Speaker 1:We don't know that she did, but this is good.
Speaker 2:Oh, if I'm a betting man which I am I would put money on that. She wins, she's it. Well, the bad news for her was She'd never tell me, because you know I'd be pissed. So that's stuff she would do on her own. I mean, she would do stuff like that. She still does stuff like that. Okay, now it's just online internet, but yeah, it's a lot easier now. Easier.
Speaker 2:Well it's easy to trace too as well in a way. But still it's like, yeah, she can just make a phone call and just do all something like that and that's it.
Speaker 1:They had a picture of. I think they had a picture of the stuffed squirrel which did win, as I recall.
Speaker 2:That part's kind of weird, I don't know. That's kind of funny.
Speaker 1:I remember going oh, Bob, because I thought I thought you know, this is radio, we don't do that to each other, we might get fired.
Speaker 2:You don't, but she would do weird stuff like that yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, there you go. That's something I never thought of, and to think, I called her up and tried to apologize to her before I got all the wrong, bad idea, bad idea. Well, you never returned the calls.
Speaker 2:To give you an example when I first had cancer and I wasn't married to her anymore and stuff, right. So if I should do this, I have no idea. So I had to go through some testing, okay, and one was going to see a cardiologist and they wanted to do a stress test, and so she wanted to know what was going on. So she sent over a fakey letter pretending to and you know what they gave them to her and I was. So I said you know what? I can see the crap out of you right now if I wanted to really up and down the wall. But I got kind of sick right now and I got other things, but you know, I got two years to think about it and so I'm leaning towards.
Speaker 2:I'm not the litigious type, but I would really think of coming after you guys for being so freaking stupid. You sent something, because someone sent a fax or requesting it, or fake doctor name and a fake letterhead, and you didn't even ask me about it. I didn't even I had to sign a release for you to do that and you did. You did it without my permission and they're like, holy shit, we fucked up and they knew that. They knew they were wrong, but just give me an idea that these are the type of things she would do. So she is your guilty party. Oh wow, now you can rest easy, knowing it was the psycho ex-wife.
Speaker 1:Well, I didn't think about her you didn't think about that.
Speaker 2:You met her. You saw what she was like. Oh I know, yeah, she's vindictive and psycho and crazy.
Speaker 1:You know, Well, cool, that's good. I mean no, I didn't actually think it would be him.
Speaker 2:You happy now, now that you know, you happy.
Speaker 1:No, no, well, I wasn't really that upset about it.
Speaker 2:You must have been. You brought it up today after like three decades, okay.
Speaker 1:You're right. Four decades, almost. What year was that? 84?, 85?
Speaker 2:I'm in there, yep, yeah 85?
Speaker 1:I'm in there. Yep yeah. So that means then it's an anniversary, isn't it? What anniversary is it the?
Speaker 2:anniversary. I'll just let you know because it's right around the time, because that's when my daughter was born Around that same period. It was right around Her birthday, just so you know, was yesterday.
Speaker 1:Oh, really, and I didn't get another birthday.
Speaker 2:All these anniversaries are probably right in order, so you know. Well, of course, your birthday One first to get hit in the pie in the face. Two make up sex, get pregnant. And then three very hormonal. Okay, stuff's where I'm going to burn his ass. Okay, it runs together.
Speaker 1:Perfect, perfect, perfect.
Speaker 2:All these pieces are falling perfectly in the place. Oh shit, oh wow. All this, ladies and gentlemen, in November, way back in the 1980 or 5.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it was 1985. Indeed, yes, yes indeed.
Speaker 2:Well, actually it was 86, because my daughter was born in 1986.
Speaker 1:Okay, it could have been 1985 or 1986.
Speaker 2:She might have been hormonally screwed up pregnant. You hit a pregnant woman in the face with a pie. I hope you feel better now. Actually you should, but it's okay, I know you said that to me before it was supposed to be funny. I said why don't you hit her with something harder? Look, here's a tire, iron, here's a manhole cover. Grabbing up a candy cane around. Here's a candy cane. Excuse us for indulging in our anniversaries, okay.
Speaker 1:I hadn't really thought about it until just now, so you, know We've been through a lot, I mean those radio days.
Speaker 2:I can't imagine people in radio have things like this going, because it's just so different One. The listenership is like nothing. You know, you don't have all the record guys and promotions, it's all owned by big conglomerate people. I don't have all the record guys and promotions, it's all owned by big conglomerate people. I don't know, I listen to it. I don't hear anybody pushing a button or being pushing the envelope on radio, regular radio. I just don't hear it.
Speaker 1:Secondly, they don't make news.
Speaker 2:We made news for this stuff. We did. They're going so-and-so, did a dumbass radio guy at this station and did this, and then the police are involved or whatever. It's just.
Speaker 1:It's just different well, that was easy, you're sitting there.
Speaker 2:You're taking all these women off by being mr good looking english guy with the peroxide colored mullet, you know, and the fag hanging out of your mouth, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, typical english guy. They're, like you know, like a deathly punk rocker back then.
Speaker 2:So oh yeah, but it was a really good-looking woman once who showed up at the station. We were having, I guess, a production meeting or something. It was afterwards, it was late in the afternoon and she said I want you to come to the car right now. I said, for what she goes, I want to fuck you in the car. I went, harvey Really pretty women aren't used to just saying that and being blunt, she really pretty women aren't used to just saying that. Being blunt, she goes. My job is you know my goal? I want to screw everybody here at the station. I banged everyone but you. I'm looking at the other guys. I'm going true, and they're going guilty. Everyone's going. I'm clicking everybody off. I'm going that's five guys. I'm number six. You're the last one. Let's get in the car, let's get to it. I'm going one. If you bang all these guys, I ain't touching it, because these guys, somebody here's got something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a little of average, they're all scratching and stuff.
Speaker 2:They got these scabs showing. I said no, I'm not touching it because of that. I don't like using any protection at all. So I didn't One. I said two I just got married two weeks ago, you know, and I said this is not a good way to start the marriage. Okay, and these guys do. I trust them to keep their mouth shut.
Speaker 1:They all know you know they'll be doing it on the crowd they go.
Speaker 2:Well, they didn't tell you, they're all being me. I said, well, that's true, they kept that secret, but they're probably hoping they'll be around too. She goes there's not gonna be. I said, yeah, actually this guy, did you bang this guy? She goes, yep. I said, did you, steve, and you go guilty. And she wouldn't leave. I mean she was, like you know, just started rubbing me all this stuff. I just write all these guys, I'm going. You got to stop. I can't believe you're turning this down. I said I can't believe I'm turning it down either, but just the timing's bad, because one STD for one of these guys. Get back to my honeymoon, jesus Christ, give me a month, come back then.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, on that fabulous note bombshell, it is actually. Next week we'll have more bombshells, won't we?
Speaker 2:This is how we start the holidays. This is it. This is it yes. I'm afraid to even ask what. Next week's anniversary of what is you know so? We're in the Christmas season but we do all kinds of funky memories. We probably then we had a lot of radio station Christmas parties.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm sure there's. Well, I'm sure it's like this stuffed squirrel, it's like God. Where did that memory come?
Speaker 2:from. Did we drink too much at those parties? Yeah, did we talk any bad things at the party?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know oh wasn't it, hey, wasn't it Christmas time that we did that thing to Chaz, which we'll explain next week? You know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:We did a lot of things to Chaz right yeah.
Speaker 1:I did probably extra, but you know, yes, you did, let me see.
Speaker 2:So yeah, that was which one are you talking about the furniture movement thing?
Speaker 1:The what Moving your furniture. Oh, that was in Christmas, but yes, Okay, that was in Christmas, Okay, christmas.
Speaker 2:What the hell was going on at Christmas then?
Speaker 1:Oh, you all went to that gay bar.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, memory comes back. Flashback flashback flashback.
Speaker 1:It were good times.
Speaker 2:Flashback flashback flashback.
Speaker 1:Well, we've got to go here in a second, so let's try and remember to do that next week. We'll tell you exactly what happened. We won't get Chaz on the phone because he won't talk to either of us.
Speaker 2:I mean, after all, this time he will not talk to you and he won't talk to me.
Speaker 1:Nope what am I doing to this guy? Geez, I thought maybe that's what I'm going to do next week.
Speaker 2:Well, I think he was. I'll just take a little hint. I thought he was pissed because I always thought he was a good guy, a talented guy. If I moved to a different station, moving up the ladder, not only as a morning guy but program director, I would always bring him and a guy named TJ. I always bring him along with me because we had some openings, they were good and I like them. So I'd bring him with some mood and flash. On the last I got my big, big, big break. I didn't bring any of them. It's not because I didn't want to. There were just no openings and the people there were pretty good. I'm not going to get rid of some, I just said you know that's not fair to them. And plus they fit in, they were good, I liked them. So I only had like one opening to be my partner in a morning show. But I needed a different type person based on what we're going to do there.
Speaker 2:I didn't bring PJ, who was cool with it, but Chaz, I don't know. He wound up going to an urban but weird white guy going to an urban station in Charlotte. I'm going, I can't be fitting in with that. His morning show partner was Black Friday. No, I'm just kidding. The whole station Black and House is there for him. I'm just going. Wow, so good for him. He was very happy there, so that out good. I still hate him. He's taking my gut for some reason. I don't know why. As we squeal Just get ready To kick off the holiday season, we'll be playing some snippets of some weird Christmas songs next week. How's that?
Speaker 1:That'll do it. You think it's?
Speaker 2:Santa squeal, is Santa squealing. Give me the Grinch. How about the happy feet?
Speaker 1:Happy feet.
Speaker 2:Happy dancing everybody.
Speaker 1:Goodbye.
Speaker 2:All right, stop singing. What was?
Speaker 1:that.
Speaker 2:Big bastards dancing all over the place.
